Care Don’t WorryJune 3, 2021
Out of the four DISC styles, the Supportive S style is most prone to experience worrying. This happens when there is an excessive and irrational fear about everyday things that is disproportional to what is causing the person to worry
At worst, when this occurs, the person can become paralyzed to act. Though even moderate feelings of worrying can spill out and negatively affect the people around the worrier, whether that’s at home or at work.
There’s an expression, what we focus on expands. When people put their energy into worrying about all of things that just might go wrong, they actually increase the possibility that they will manifest what they fear most.
We all have a little voice inside of our heads that speaks to us throughout the day. For worriers, that voice says things like:
“He was supposed to be here an hour ago. I hope he’s okay.”
“She hasn’t called me today. I hope I didn’t offend her when we spoke yesterday.”
“I told my manager that I’d get this done by 5pm today, but it’s taking longer than expected. I’m afraid it might be late and then I’ll get in big trouble.”
The problem with worrying is that it creates stress and in extreme cases, leads to panic. When S’s worry, they run through worst-case scenarios. What if this happens? That would be a disaster! What will they think of me? They won’t want to be friends with me anymore! What if? What if? What if?
It’s important to note that worrying is actually grounded in something very positive: Concern and caring. Concern for the safety of others. Caring how others feel. Concern for the organization. Etc…
The strategy, then, is to shift from worrying to caring. Worrying is grounded in fear. Caring is grounded in love. When S’s make the shift from worrying to caring, stress fades away. And since worrying grows bigger if you feed it, S’s can remain calm and focused during potentially stressful times.
To transform worrying into caring, one simply needs to put the worrying into context. Try asking questions such as:
“How likely is the potential outcome that I fear?”
“Has what I’m worrying about every really happened before?”
“Will someone really think negatively of me because of this issue?”
As Benjamin Franklin advised, “Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.”